How we build a self esteem ?

Challenge your own values.

Personal Development is a long process of human puzzling. Many different stages of our life create something new. It exists every time something important or useful occurs in the rest of our being. In this post I will touch base on the Rogerian Theory and I will continue with the Introduction to Humanistic and Existential approaches.

According to Carl Rogers, the essence of personal growth is the “Self” where he believes the person changes during their life and creates their personality during their existence by experiences and self-concept (self-image, self-worth or self-esteem, and ideal self).

Since an individual’s self-image is depicted as how we see ourselves, we make an opinion about our body image or perceive ourselves as wise or obtuse because we are influenced by parents, a member of family, friends, social media and other factors in the human environment. The self-image could be very important for another factor such as self-esteem and self-worth, where we find what we are thinking about ourselves, and that this believing system aroused and formed in childhood, could stay indefinitely throughout adulthood. Next aspect of the Rogerian school is the ideal self, where we imagine who we would like to be, according to our ambitions and aims in life. The ideal self is not persistent, as the typical self-consistently changes and it depends on circumstances in life and could vary from person to person.

The emotional state as a core of self-concept can be individual and have personal meaning. It could possibly have happened personally at some stage, as it is projected as not what we want to see or how others see us. For instance, Johari Window exemplifies the deeper examination of our own self and how others perceive us and how we see ourselves.

According to Person-Centred Therapy (PCT), Rogerian believes that the individual and the unique experience of humans as letting them be the human and the expert on his life with the person perception. As stated before, when two people observe the same pigeon, they have two different experiences and two feelings. Two people look at the same object through the window and will have different perceptions as well as spotting different objects in the same direction of view. Considering the growth and personal development, we cannot forget about self-awareness, where we have to ask ourselves “Who am I?” and explore the power of the big “Why”?

An outstanding value in the process of development we hold is an initial core condition such as empathy, where we learn how to understand others more genuinely and adequately.

Unconditional positive regard is utilised in the therapeutic process and is not dependent on the client’s personality or behaviour. As theories of counselling provide the therapist with a conceptual framework, others will ask how and what way it can work and will allow those to think systematically about human development and the therapeutic process.

As a grown person, we accept others unconditionally without bias and prejudice. For instance, I still offer help no matter if someone is homeless or addicted. A typical example would be where the parent prefers where their children are calm and gentle and/or the congruence where we achieve self-awareness where the counsellor shows evidence of high-quality openness and the authentic person. Lastly, during demonstrations in a session of Person-Centred Therapy (PCT) by Carl Rogers with Gloria, she showed significant evidence of how we can develop during a psychotherapy session using only one kind of therapy;

“I feel more comfortable the way you are talking to me in a low voice, and I don’t feel you will be so harsh on me.”


And that can be the key to improve self esteem, with a bit of self compassion without being harsh and tiring. Understand your own self and situation, why we are here and how we can get over the difficulty.

I hope you find this piece to your satisfaction.

See you soon in the next post.

Published by Marcin Bogucki

Counselling & Psychotherapy for both English and Polish speakers.

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