Personal boundaries.


What are they and how to deal with them?

In our life we ​​meet with many limitations, as well as with many privileges which have their own rules. On the one hand something begins, on the other hand it ends. In many cases, we have no influence on what happens: how the weather changes or the disasters that surround us. However, if you take a closer look at personal boundaries, you can notice many aspects of our lives where such boundaries are abused by others or we allow ourselves to be let go of our guard.

For example, if someone does not respect our speech on a given topic, or a given statement is out of place and violates someone’s personal rights, or our idea for a new project at work is mocked, we are talking about intellectual boundaries. And when other times someone tends to touch the interlocutor during a discussion, nudge or not keep the appropriate distance during a conversation, it is about physical boundaries. Other determinants are when someone uses what they have learned about us or when someone is too effusive and bombards us with his tasteless stories that are sometimes out of place and cause scandal. It is an abuse of emotional boundaries.

There are still several types of such boundaries, the non-observance of which or simply ignorance of the subject makes us potential victims, and the damage caused may last for years, and not only as a damage to our physical health, but also on our psyche, may mark a significant mark. Other boundaries that we still recognize not only from a psychological point of view are time, material and sexual boundaries.

In many situations, we are unable to defend ourselves or notice that the given boundaries have been violated. In many aspects of our lives we become victims just because we meant well for someone or were just taught to do so. Sometimes it is the pressure of society or the ubiquitous “social media”. Peer pressure or unjustified applause pushes us to break such boundaries, which are often also moral and ethical issues. Such and similar situations take place in our lives, but the more we know about them, the more prudent and cautious we become.

Published by Marcin Bogucki

Counselling & Psychotherapy for both English and Polish speakers.

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