Each of us has a need for isolation or loneliness at some point in our lives. Such a state of affairs as a feeling of loneliness and isolation is generally known to us today, due to the existing depressive states and derivatives of such disorders or the existing epidemiological threats. Such aspects come from acquired cognitive patterns and learned defense mechanisms in almost every period of our lives.

We do not always want to be in the family circle or meet friends, sometimes we feel burned out, and sometimes our own personality requires us to stay a little more often in our own company.

Factors such as a medical condition, whatever it may be, affect us by staying in the isolation of our own four walls or by limiting interpersonal contacts, albeit for a while. What the main aspect exerts on us is the way we think and guide our feelings, which, as I mentioned, have been trained and besieged with a defense mechanism to protect us from danger on the basis of the information in our possession.

Another example would be graduation or retirement. Awareness of the feeling of losing contacts with a group of friends or the feeling of being needed when the retirement age forces us to stop working and retire or reserve, as in some professions. A significant feeling of loneliness and isolation from society occurs after a loved one starts, a separation in a relationship or the end of a certain stage in life.

During these events, it is the normal process of protecting the body against the anticipated threat. Here the emotional question arises, like the feeling of the drug before the change and the unknown for the next few days. The emotional process remains at the right level until such a set of acquired features does not interfere with our functioning. When a disorder occurs and our emotional state is out of control, i.e. we have a strong need to influence, it is worth considering what really happened and what is happening to us.

The feeling of loneliness can be frightening, hence it is uncertain and often hopeless. Losing loved ones in any aspect is terrifying for all of us, no matter what our age. And we will often find out when we experience such changes ourselves. The emerging need for acceptance and belonging is enormous and leaves much to be desired. The already acquired experiences or behavior, such as everyday contact with one’s own environment in physical form or online in the form of social media, dies on its own. There is fear of the unknown and uncertainty about the future awaiting us.

It may be called a standard procedure of growing up or a process in human life, but no one has prepared us for it, has not talked about the emerging fear and other emotions that are important to us. We also avoid talking or confessing on a given topic, because still talking about emotions is often a taboo topic, or it is an uncomfortable issue raised in company. We may be misunderstood and our behavior may seem infantile. Although the truth is different, because each of us experiences this state of affairs, although each of us is different, we often remain alone with this topic, which creates an internal struggle with thoughts about our future and ourselves.

And here begins our mental journey between what is real and what we think. Learned issues, when we were left to ourselves as a child, we learned that we could not really count on someone, although as we grew up we acquired the skills to defend ourselves against this state of affairs and we suffocated a sense of imperfection, medication and other important emotions through adaptations of a given social group, but as soon as a given process ends, we fall into the trap of our own thoughts and fight for another normal day in our lives.

Following the path of irrational thinking about our own or the environment around us, we start to run away from ourselves, which deepens the state of affairs, i.e. compulsive thoughts, we forget about our needs and focus on gaining another group and belonging to specific environments. This is our inherent struggle to survive as herd creatures, needing each other.

It should also be understood that the need for solitude is often indicated for one’s own process, for the analysis of one’s views or for the satisfaction of a moment. Loneliness is not bad if it is nurtured, issues of melancholy, nostalgia and reverie often improve our emotional state and our general understanding of ourselves and the world around us. They don’t necessarily indicate depression or a nervous breakdown. So such a temporary rest for our mind may turn out to be a balm for our soul.

The author of The Little Prince said, “It’s a bit lonely in the desert.

– You are just as lonely among people.

In my opinion, this perfectly reflects the subject of the article. Please take into account that many aspects of our lives create such a bedrock of loneliness and exclusion from society. I am aware of the changes that surround us, but please pay attention to the treatment of addicts, homeless people or others who struggle with mental health. We also exclude ourselves through a lack of understanding of the environment, stigmatization and other sticking labels and nonsense connections. “A homeless person is definitely a drunk or some drug addict” or the fact that someone is suffering from depression cannot be considered a crazy person and excluded only because he visits a mental health clinic.

All of the above-mentioned aspects of our life can contribute to isolation and loneliness in human life, loss and a sense of hopelessness is a huge burden and each of us experiences it differently. It is important not to be alone in all this and seek help for yourself.

Talk to a loved one, a person you trust or use professional help. In our organization, we provide free remote and stationary psychotherapy and it is still free. Benefit from psychoeducation and all forms of relaxation and recovery. Who or what we lost is important, but it is constantly passing away. We are still here and we have to fight for what we have, because we are important and needed for ourselves.

Published by Marcin Bogucki

Counselling & Psychotherapy for both English and Polish speakers.

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